Top 5 Womens Products That Totally Aren't Stupid or Anything

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Hi, folks. Sweet Sale would like you to know that although we are the most hilarious and adorable girls you've ever had the privilege to to lay eyes on...we're so much more than that. We aren't just here to make you laugh, but we are also here to educate the stupid masses on how to improve your life.

I'd like to take the time to introduce you to the top 5 must have products to help simplify your life.

How many times have you been getting ready to get it on with some dude and before you get a chance to laugh at his tiny member, he laughs at your ugly vomit-brown vajay jay! I know what you're thinking. If only there was some kind of magical product to make women's vajay jays look like the way men think they're supposed to look!

Well now there is! Let me introduce you to My New Pink Button. The days of not being able to fully customize your genitals are over! You can even choose your specific shade of pink. They have Marilyn, Bettie, Ginger, and Audry. I know personally I can't wait until they add more colors. I've always wanted a purple and yellow polka dotted one, what about you guys?

Now lets keep the awesomeness rolling with product number 2 which is... the urinal cup! How many times have you had this problem? You're getting ready to go on a road trip with your husband or boyfriend and you completely forget to pee! It happens more than we'd like to admit, but it isn't our fault since we have tiny female brains! Men have tiny male brains, but fortunately for them, they can pee standing up. But alas, we women have to submissively sit down! How utterly shameful! But that is no longer the case! With the urinal cup, you can stand up while you pee. The world is your urinal! No longer will you have to sit around wishing you had a penis so you could have the liberty of peeing any and everywhere. Now you can just pull out your diva cup and go in the club, at the grocery store, even while picking your kids up for school! Can you believe someone didn't think of this sooner? If it weren't for this genius inventor why we might have been using these archaic and outdated social systems (such as standing in line for the restroom) forever!

Now ladies....I know you're probably thinking "how could I ever afford to buy those totally awesome and not at all crazy and stupid feminine products?" Well I'll tell ya how! Introducing product number 3...the DIVA CUP!

Now instead of spending all your money on tampons and menstrual pads you can buy those other products! With the Diva cup you can collect your blood in a neat cup and then wash it out at the end of the day! And best of all it's environmentally friendly! Instead of throwing away used tampons you can waste water when you wash it at the end of the day SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT!

Now product number 4 is for those of us that like to express our individuality and style! Now we no longer have to suffer trying to make the decision as to what to do with our hair down there. Versatility has never been easier with the pubic hair wig (also known as a merkin)! Want to go shaved? Want to grow a freaking jungle? Now you can have both!

As expected we've saved the best for last! Product number 5 isn't so much a product as it is a revolutionary concept. Introducing the funnest idea since using tape worms to lose weight... VAJAZZLING! If you aren't on board with this you need to be! Every girl's dream as a child was to grow up and have a glamorous vagina. Well now that dream can come true! All it takes is a little imagination, some glitter and crystals and voila!

We hope that you've enjoyed this list of womens products that totally aren't stupid at all. Hopefully you can occupy yourself by giving your genitals the much needed makeover they deserve while we conjure up another list of useful products to enhance your life.


(Disclaimer: Remember, we couldn't make this shit up!)