Deep Conversations

Once upon a time (in July 2008 to be specific)...someone sent me (Kristy) this e-mail.

Hello!  Have  good  day!  The  Computer on my inquiry in service Those
friends found to me some structures of people, with which I Would like
to  get  acquainted.  I  have studied a little them and have solved To
send  you to the first message because your structure seems to me More
interesting.  I  hope, that you have time to send me some messages. We
can  get  acquainted  and  study  each  other.  I  shall tell about me
directly;  My age of 27 years, my name Darya. I was not married, and I
live with mine The father. I to similar sports and active Rest. I like
to  travel  and be in various places, but my work does Do not allow me
to  do  it  often.  I  have  friends, we sometimes go to bowling or in
billiards.  Also  I send you Photo, that you knew my person. I wish to
ask, that you also have sent Me a picture you, also inform me, liked a
small amount of the information you: That you Love entertainment? What
your  character? In what qualities you love Women? Whether you had the
wife?  I also shall inform you more Independently in following E-mail!
I shall wait for messages from You. Your friend Darya.

Now being the sweet, kind hearted people that we are, we couldn't just let this e-mail sit in the purgatory of the inbox, never to be replied to...  So we replied. It took both of us a lot of time and effort to come up with a reply worthy for such a beautiful e-mail...but we did it! Here is our reply...

Greetings!  Have day of good!  Many wishes well.  Have photo of me, you?  I for too.  You seem much like the lovely person of you.  For too write me such sweet words.  Makes me loves you.  Can you touch your wenis?  I can touch your wenis?  I like to watch the lights on shoes and the moving pictures on big screen in large building.  I for too are the great rapper of eminem.  Turtles are for good eating beating heart after 7 days long.  Tastes kind of bitter and chickenish(sp?).  Make love for you.  Wild horses for to drag me away.  You speak the english very well.  Your fasha is well?  He has not sold you to man yet?  You from dowery must include one hen.  Preferably one that lays the big eggs for eating with turtle heart and for to bathe the dog of mine with chicken yoke abortion of blood.  I have the red camero and drive to the seashore on tuesday.  The ocean of which is in Lynco with spaniard monkeys also good for eating of the brain.  Total heart monkey brain soup.  I will cook you dinner on a special day when you foring have the child of mine.  You lick of the wenis?  Write back very soon.  Looking forward to talking of you again.  Total heart for to blow glass.  Have a wonderful day.